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Recent Posts at Owen's Blog and Birth Activist

Owen's Blog

Touring the State Capital With R2-D2

Written by James, talking about Owen's latest robot obsession.

The Latest

The latest news on Owen.

First Day of Preschool

Owen's first day of preschool was on Thursday!

Birth Activist

I write blog posts for Birth Activist, along with a few other women. Here are a few of my recent posts there:

New Study on Scheduled Cesareans

Lawsuit Filed Over Abuse During Birth

The Chemistry of Breastmilk

Take a Moment Today

And view Martin Luther King's famous "I Have a Dream" speech.

Has my content really been that bad?

According to Google Analytics, I've had two visitors to this blog since December 31st. One on the 6th and one on the 7th of January. That means my last two blog posts have gone completely unread. There is a 60% dip in activity. If anyone ever comes back to read this, please tell me what I'm doing wrong?

:-(

The Sensory Dysfunctional Family

Owen is going to start preschool soon. He will be going two mornings a week. It is a therapeutic preschool designed for kids just like him, who have some borderline behaviors but weren't diagnosed as having autism (if he had autism, there would be several other services available to him). Owen's diagnosis of verbal and oral apraxia does not inherently include any sensory or anxiety issues, though those are certainly recognized as things that commonly go along with apraxia (or developmental dyspraxia). In reading more information on SID, I have realized that James and I are a couple of SID (sensory integration dysfunction) affected people, we just didn't know it until we had a little reflection of ourselves running around.

At any given time in our house James might be squinting at the lights, or pushing one of us away because he is feeling "claustrophobic", or ripping off his clothing in a fit of rage because the tag was bothering him, and I may be given to volatile explosions if someone touches me when I didn't expect it, or be driven mad at the sounds of someone breathing, or biting their nails, or being overwhelmed by the sounds of a screaming child, or not being able to pick out the voice of the person I'm talking to in a crowd, and Owen may be asking to wear headphones when we go somewhere where the floor isn't carpeted (since sound is different there), or pushing me away if I hug him without asking, or not allowing me to rub his back to help him fall asleep, or refusing to use the toilet because the feeling of his bottom hanging out there causes more anxiety then he can handle.

Our issues even conflict sometimes. James likes the house to be totally silent when he goes to bed, whereas if I go to bed in a silent room I will be driven crazy by James' breathing. A fan, running water, or a noise machine grates on James senses, yet I need this to distract my brain from the normal quiet sounds of slumber that for some reason I interpret as being abrasive. Owen resists hugs and cuddles, but insists on sitting right up next to us so that his whole body is pressing against ours, or actually hurling his body at us when he's excited. James can't handle consistent touch like that, or the full body slams from Owen, and since he is Owen's constant target of this type of behavior, he is also in a constant state of irritation about it. James can see in pitch dark situations, but hates lights shining in his eyes. I often trip around at night when he turns all the lights off on me, or can't wake up in the morning because he's darkened the room so much to keep the morning sun out of it.

In my unprofessional self diagnosing: we are all hypersensitive (sensory avoiding), while Owen seems to also be somewhat hyposensitive (sensory seeking). Owen and I hate loud noises, I also hate quiet noises, and James hates persistent noises (e.g. fan). Owen and I are overly sensitive to touch, while James is overly sensitive to how clothing feels on his skin or how it affects his body temperature. James and Owen also seem to be overly sensitive to light. I think we all have a form of SID. I don't think any of us have a severe case though, but I'm not sure since this is all perfectly normal to us. I'm not sure what an adult can do about SID, if anything. It is probably beneficial to recognize this in ourselves though, since any child of ours will probably be affected to some degree. I wonder what causes this anomaly in humans. There is clearly a genetic factor involved, but I wonder if it is a predisposed kind of thing that may or may not show up, or if it's something that all kids of ours would automatically inherit.

Free Photo Canvas

Get one free 11 x 14 photo canvas per family for simply signing up for a parenting discussion board!

http://www.parentsociety.com/onefreecanvas/

This will cost you about $17.00 shipping, but, that is far cheaper then you would pay for a photo canvas if you were to order one. They generally cost about $80.00.

ETA: I received my canvas and it looks great! It's really cool how the picture wraps around the canvas, and you can just hang it right on the wall without a frame. I love it and I want more! Unfortunately they aren't so easy to get when they aren't free.

The Last Day of Christmas - December 28th

James' sister and brother in law, Diane and Mike, came over on the 28th to celebrate Christmas with us. We had a nice meal, exchanged a few gifts, and had a good time. We got Diane a rooster apron, which she loved and even wore home. We got Mike a sweatshirt he asked for. James and I got some nice gifts from them too. They got Owen lots of stuff. Owen told them he wanted a jack hammer and "little things to put little things in". So, they got him his Jack Hammer, and two small wooden boxes to put little things into. They also got him a cupcake set for his kitchen, and the Horton Hears a Who movie that came with a Horton finger puppet.

Owen has been little Mr. Scowly pants lately, and he was quite rude while opening these gifts. Eventually he was persuaded to play with them, and have fun with them, but I was a bit embarrassed by how rude he was being. I think part of the reason is because he was expecting a real jack hammer. He wanted to go out and see what was inside the streets in the summer. We tried explaining to him over and over again that he couldn't have a real one, just a toy one, but he kept insisting. So, I think he was kind of disappointed that he didn't get a real jack hammer. He likes all his toys now though, and has been playing with them ever since Christmas. He is just a little scowler lately. Hopefully it's a stage :-)

Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day - December 24th - 25th

On Christmas eve, we had no fancy feast this year like we did last year. I had already cooked for Yule and I had to make a Yule log cake and my Christmas Pinwheels for our feast at my Aunt and Uncle's house, so I really wasn't in to cooking a big meal this year.

We opened our stockings on Christmas Eve. I had put candy into all of them. I got James some green tea mints, and two types of Burt's Bees chapstick. James got Owen a box of magnetic marbles. James got me some really pretty silver earrings that match the necklace he got me for my birthday really well. I was surprised to get such a nice stocking stuffer.

The next day I woke up early and jumped in the shower. I thought I would get a head start on getting ready before James and Owen got out of bed. By the end of my shower Owen was banging on my door. He wanted to take a bath. I asked him if he wanted to open his presents first or take a bath first. He wanted his bath first. He must be the only kid who wanted to take a bath before opening presents on Christmas morning.

After his bath we opened our presents, all taking turns so that we could watch each other. Last year, James and I didn't buy each other gifts, we just got one gift for the whole family together. This year we bought each other gifts. James was supposed to get a GPS and I a record player. I got my record player, but James does not like any GPS in existence except the iphone, which we can't afford right now due the monthly internet cost, so he didn't get his big gift. He doesn't seem to mind though because we are both enjoying our record player. He wanted me to make him a mug and shirt from Zazzle though, and I also surprised him with a few other little things. He surprised me with a few little things too, all of which I had been really wanting. We got Owen some fun things too. He got mostly books this year, plus more marble works, plus a robot. The robot was supposed to be the U-command Wall•e, but, the store I ordered it from online canceled my order without telling me. I had to run to Target to find something else and they had two robots to choose from, one that was reasonably priced but really scary looking, and one that didn't look scary but was very expensive. I just bought him a smaller version of the expensive one, that was way cheaper, but also didn't do as much. He really liked it and was so excited when he opened it, even though it wasn't the Wall•e I had hoped it would be. Owen also got a mug from Zazzle. He told me he wanted a pink mug with his name on it. For some reason you can't get a solid colored mug at the you-design-it websites, so I went with a pink inside. I did a drawing of a snowman for the outside, and chose a snow topped font with pink lettering. He was quite pleased and has already drank out of it.

When we first started putting presents under the tree a few weeks before Christmas, there was one for James, one for Owen, and none for me. Owen was very sensitive to this and seemed to be really upset that there was no present for me. He told James that he wanted to get me a present of hot chocolate. So, a week or so later, long after there was a small pile of gifts for me, another one was added in a baseball gift bag. Owen chose the gift bag too. James told Owen not to tell me what was in it, and he never did. He is a good little secret keeper, because he knew what I was getting, what James was getting, and what Lyric was getting, and he never told any of us what was inside our packages. Of course, I love hot chocolate and they got me three tins of it! I was so touched by Owen wanting to get that for me, and the fact that he thought of something he knew I would like to have. When I tucked him into the bed the next night I told him again how surprised I was and how happy I was to get that from him. He told me then that he first thought of getting me hot tea. Then he looked up at me very seriously and said, "would you have liked hot tea"? I said, "yes, I like hot tea too, but I think you made the right decision to get me hot cocoa, because I like to drink hot cocoa a lot more then hot tea."

So, where were we? Oh, it was Christmas day and we had just opened up all our presents. Then we were off to Grammie and Grampy's house, otherwise known as my parents. Berta and Lyric were there too. We all exchanged gifts. We also had hot chocolate and cookies. I got my mom a glass tea pot, which I knew she really wanted. I got my dad a shirt from Zazzle that I designed. It said, "Grampy's racin' buddies" and had a picture of the fireworks from the races last summer and a picture in the foreground of Grampy with all three of his grandkids. My dad loved it. It was fun to give them things I knew they would really like. Lyric got some playsilks that I made for here, all blue because she only ever wants blue, and I'm told she plays with them all the time. Owen and Lyric exchanged gifts as well. They always seem to know the perfect gift for each other.

I had made a Yule log cake which needs to stay frozen. The temp was below freezing, so we left the cake in the trunk of our car while we were at my parents house. I forgot about the fact that the sun was shining on the trunk of the car though, and the cake had started to melt a bit. The powdered sugar snow had mostly melted into the cake. So once we got to my Aunt and Uncle's house, I put the cake out on their deck. The whole cake thing was kind of stressful. It was fun to make, it turned out looking and tasting awesome, but, it was a huge hassle to try to keep this huge thing frozen and knowing when to go get it and put it out on the table. I went and got it right before we ate so people would see it before I cut into it, but the room was so warm from all the bodies it melted more then it should have. It was really good though anyway and people liked it. I made a "twig" for Lyric without the cookies which she is allergic to. I think next year I probably will only make it for Yule.

So, where was I? Oh yes, we had just arrived at my Aunt and Uncle's house. We had a great time there! It really was a great Christmas. I had lots of wine, we had tons of food, we had tons and tons of desserts. We played the dice game, which is so fun. In case you don't know what that is; we all buy reasonably priced gifts, or we give things from our own house that we don't want anymore but are nice, or we buy things at a thrift store, or we make something. We wrap them up and color code them for men, women, and both. Most people bring multiple gifts but we try to not spend more then $10.00 to $15.00 per person. So there are three big piles of gifts, and we all sit in a circle and send the dice around, one pan of dice going one way, the other pan of dice going the other way. When someone shakes doubles, they choose a gift, but don't open it. When all the gifts are gone, a time limit is set, like 5 or 10 minutes, and we continue to shake. Then if you get doubles, you get to steal gifts from each other. The gifts are still wrapped at this point. This is where it gets fun, because people are always after one or two gifts, and they keep stealing that same gift from each other, even though they have no idea what is inside. It's kind of funny sometimes which gift becomes the gift to steal. Anyway, this year I got one of those gifts and it was supper cool! It was a bread and oil set, which had a bread tray, an oil bottle, and four small dishes for oil. It was very nice and well worth the stealing back and forth. My mom got it at the thrift store for only $2.00! In general though, the gift we are all after is usually just a dumb thing nobody ends up caring about. I really like the dice game instead of the secret Santa idea, and I hope my family keeps doing it because it is so fun. Also, it really makes it so it's not about the gifts, but more about us all getting together and interacting. We trade or give things away at the end after we open them too, and I just think it's a really good way to do gift giving for a large group, while keeping the focus off of the actual gifts.

After all that, we played board games until pretty late. We had more wine, and more desserts, and my grandma's homemade chex mix. My grandma won one of my Aunts pies at the dice game, so we cut into that and it was heavenly. We all had a great time and I barely even saw Owen all night, he was so often playing with the kids in the other room. When we got home we posed Owen in front of the tree with all his gifts. It was really very fun, but a very full day of activities.

Chanukah - December 22nd

We didn't observe Chanukah in any way except for playing the dreidel game with Owen on the first day of it. We contemplated getting a Menorah, but decided against it. I was much more focused on Yule, and so I asked James to look into Chanukah. When I asked him what Chanukah was all about, he said he didn't know. He told me he didn't want a Menorah, he just wanted Owen to play the dreidel game. So, that is what we did.

There is this Raffi song, or at least Raffi performs the song, and it goes, "a dreidel, dreidel, dreidel. A dreidel made of clay. A dreidel, dreidel, dreidel. A ddreidel we will play." So we made a dreidel out of clay. Owen wanted to paint it pink, so we did. We played the dreidel game with him and we played the song while we played the game. He played for a bit and then wanted to eat the chocolate coins.

Our dreidel didn't spin properly. I don't think it was balanced right. We managed to get an adequate randomization of the letters, but next year if we do it again I think we will buy a dreidel.

Yule - December 20 -21

This year we celebrated Yule for the first time. Yule is celebrated in a remarkably similar way to Christmas, since Christmas is based on the Pagan customs that came before it.

Yule is observed on December 20th to 21st. It is the longest night of the year. To kick off our Yule celebration, earlier in the month we cut down our own tree and hung a wreath. For Yule, the tree is a sacred object and should be cut down by you and then burned when the celebration is over. Some people just hang boughs and they don't cut down an actual tree. Many who observe Yule do cut down a tree though. I don't think we will burn our Yule tree. We will likely make something out of the trunk and compost the rest, and in that way I feel we are being respectful of the tree.

I painted a sun ornament to celebrate the solstice and hung it on our Yule tree. I also bought a Yule wheel ornament. A Yule wheel has every Pagan celebration of nature that takes place throughout the year represented on a wheel, which is the wheel of the year.

On the evening of the 20th we had our Yule feast. We had the traditional Yule meal, ham. We also had mashed potatoes. I made a special dessert, a Yule log cake! It was my experimental one because I also made one for Christmas day. The cake was fantastic tasting and not too hard to make. I didn't bother making it too pretty, since it was just for us. Traditionally, observers of Yule burn a Yule log in their fire place on the night of Yule, and use a portion of last years log to burn with it. Since we are apartment dwellers we had to make due, and so decided on a cake instead.

Then that night after it had gotten dark, James got out the globe and a flashlight and he showed Owen and I why we have darker days this time of year. In the weeks before the holidays began we talked to Owen about why we celebrate holidays at this time of year. We explained that it these are the shortest days of the year and that we like to put out lights because it is so dark, and we like to put a tree up in our house to cheer us up, and we like to give gifts and be with our friends and family so we can have a good time during this dark time of year.

The next day we went to Murphy's Landing, which is an old time historic town from the 1800's. It was 4 below the day we went, and we had to trudge through snow and be out doors every time we walked to a different building. As cold as it was, it was nice to be outdoors for a bit on Yule, and feel connected to nature. It wouldn't have even been that bad if we would have all worn boots. James and I don't really have warm boots, and James put Owen's shoes on instead of his boots, so none of us had very warm feet.

Every house is from a different culture, and was set up for the holidays according to that culture's customs. It was great to see all the different culture's holiday traditions. Many of them matched up with Yule traditions, and in the Norwegian house they even called it "jyool". One house we went into was a Jewish house, so we saw the Menorah, and Owen and James learned how to play the dreidel game. I was glad they had a Jewish house so Owen could see it before we played with the dreidel we made for him.

We had a great time there. We had pulled pork sandwiches and hot chocolate and hot cider for lunch. Owen loved the school house, and he really liked the little slate they had so we bought him one on the sly for Christmas. They had some people dressed in period clothing playing old time holiday songs on old time instruments. We sat in the town hall and watched the music for awhile. Owen really liked it and he even sang! When they asked the audience to sing along to "Jingle Bells" Owen shouted out "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells!" It was the most monotone and loud singing anyone could ever imagine, but it was "singing", and I was pleased that he was doing it.

Here are some photos of our great Yule: